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September, 2007 |
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Childrens Books Dealing With Mortality and Loss The biggest release in children's publishing this summer — and possibly for all time — turns out to be one of the more thought provoking books ever written. With much hoopla and fanfare Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was distributed to millions of fans waiting breathlessly to learn the fate of Harry and his magical world. There followed a week of silence as fans read and reread the book, in some cases the whole series of Potter novels. And then. . . I was surprised, not at the ending or the many plot twists J. K. Rowling wove into Deathly Hallows, but at the maturity of this book. Yes, Harry and his friends are adults in the wizarding world and they act it, taking on challenges that would wither most adults — wizard and Muggle alike. But Harry has always had challenges. This book isn't about Harry's special life. It is a tale of generic human life, as beautiful and tragic as life can be. The main character isn't even the boy wizard whose name is draped across the cover. Rowling herself has stated that the driving force in Deathly Hallows, more so than in all her other books, is death. She refrains from stereotype; there is no scythe-wielding specter haunting Harry's footsteps. Death is, however, a real presence to Harry and to all the people he loves, fears and respects. Characters are defined by their relationship to death. Voldemort fears death and will stop at nothing, not even the illogical destruction of his own being, to avoid death. His existence is bound and torn apart by this obsession. Harry, however, does not fear death and goes willingly to die when the time comes to save those he loves. His life is free because he is able to accept death. Rowling defines good and evil through a character's willingness to acknowledge inevitable mortality. While nobody in Harry's world is entirely without fault, nobody who has embraced our human condition is truly evil, not even Snape. Whereas those characters who have struggled with death, even preternaturally good Dumbledore, are shown to be fatally flawed. Of course, this morbid theme is tempered with Rowling's wit and humor, but not so much as to hide it from even the most superficial reader. Inevitably this book is going to force readers to confront mortality, leading to some of the trickiest questions parents, teachers and mentors have to face. By 5 years old, most children will have encountered some example of death, whether it be a loved one, a pet or merely a dead animal found in the road. A five-year-old generally knows that life can end. However, preschool children are not intellectually equipped to deal with death in the abstract. Young children view the world through highly egocentric eyes. If it has not happened to them, they do not understand. They are also unable to understand the permanence of death. They tend to believe that a trip to the doctor will reverse death. So Rowling's book will, at the very least, be rendered meaningless to a very young child. It is probably best to hold off reading about Harry until your child is ready to understand what Harry is facing. There are plenty of other titles that will help explain death to young children. One of the most magical and yet grounded stories ever written is The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia. This beautiful tale shows that death is part and parcel of life, not a cause of despair but a source of strength. Most very young kids won't be as emotionally moved as an adult, but they get the basic premise. Death is not bad even if it is sad. Elementary school children can appreciate that death is going to happen to all of us, and they look for causes. At this age, Voldemort's obsession with mastering death begins to show its face. Not that kids want to avoid death altogether, but they want to know explicitly how it happens so they can avoid it in the short run. If you are reading Deathly Hallows with your elementary school child, you may see that your child feels perhaps undue pity for poor Voldemort. They might even wonder aloud why nobody wants to help Voldemort. There are many titles that address death at this level (grades 1-5). Finn's Going by Tom Kelly is one of the more recent and one of the best stories about a child comprehending death. Finn is the twin of 10-year-old Danny. He dies in rather vague circumstances that are explained cautiously as Danny comes to understand them. Danny, believing that he is an ever present reminder of Finn's death to his parents, runs away to spare them the hurt. The story is told entirely through Danny's eyes, lending a childlike and naive color to the tale. As Danny comes to understand his loss, so does the young reader. A middle reader (grades 4-8) has both greater personal experience and logical capability. This is the ideal age to experience Harry's last chapter. But if your child wants to see mortality in a less magical light, as kids of this age tend to desire, a good choice is Holding at Third by Linda Zinnen. In this story, 13-year-old Matt must leave his winning baseball team in a move that will enable his older brother Tom to undergo treatment for cancer. Matt is constantly forced to face the probability of losing his brother. He has already lost his dreams of winning big at baseball and the attention of his mother, who through both necessity and character flaw is focused entirely on Tom's illness. Matt joins the meager ball team at his new middle school and learns that life is more than winning, or perhaps that winning is not at all like life. Life is rather about having the courage and strength to "hold at third", especially when it seems pointless, when loss is inevitable. An interesting counterpoint is Lois Lowry's The Giver. This book illustrates in graphic detail the pain humans face in avoiding pain. Here is a glance into the turmoil of Voldemort's soul. With a setting reminiscent of Brave New World, this story shows what misery would follow if humans tried to engineer misery out of our lives. Finally, Anatopsis by Chris Abouzeid is a highly strange but compelling story about how death affects everything, even magical immortals. This is an odd tale of Anatopsis, an immortal witch, and her best friend Clarissa who is mortal. Anatopsis must face a future that will not include Clarissa no matter what powers are invoked. She will live forever; Clarissa will die. While none of us are immortal here on this earth, there is a parallel in the different beliefs regarding life after death. While most humans believe that there is some reunion with those we love after death, most of us still know and care for at least one person who will not be part of that eternity. Anatopsis does not truly accept her eternal separation from Clarissa, but she grudgingly lives with it. She learns that this pulling apart is the essence of life. Other children's books that address mortality and loss include: For Preschool Readers: Seven for a Secret by Laurence Anholt Sad Isn't Bad by Michaelene Mundy Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley If Nathan Were Here by Mary Bahr For Young Readers: Loamhedge and other titles in Brian Jacques's Redwall series The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan the fairy tales of Hans Christian Andersen in their original form For Middle Readers: Penny from Heaven by Jennifer Holm When a Friend Dies by Marilyn Gootman Missing May by Cynthia Rylant For Teens: The Grieving Teen by Helen Fitzgerald A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines A Time for Dancing and The Farther You Run by Davida Wills Hurwin The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen Hamlet by William Shakespeare Can't Get There from Here by Todd Strasser Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston The Beat Goes On by Adele Minchin Carolina Autumn by Carol Lynch Williams |
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